What happens when you don't want to speak? Use your voice? I love to speak. I always love to be a part of the dialogue or conversation. I am not fearful, just aware. Yesterday I spoke freely, today I feel as though I have to watch myself. I've spent most of my life watching what I say not to make others uncomfortable. The small voices in my head are winning today, but not for long. Facebook is blowing my mind with all of the inspiration and poetic posts but I am stopped in my tracks....
Can I be a woman and fully speak my mind? Can I be black and bring up my ancestors without feeling anger or resentment? Can I be a mother and effect positive change in this world without seeming weak? Yesterday I was ready with my "I can do anything because..." post.
Today I am asking silent questions. Im not looking for answers per say, just asking questions that lead to more questions, that leads to understanding that leads to revelations.
A moment in the light and then I'm back diving inwards into the darkest parts of myself. Back to who I am. Why I am here. What is my purpose and does my life matter. I may know the answers in my head but my bones are aching to remember.
So today I get really still. Really quiet. Not in retreat, but in preparation.